he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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