it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
