Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Gay?
German.
Pity.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize