I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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