Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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