Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Randomize