but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Randomize
