i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
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