But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
