So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
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