On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
