i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
