today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
