Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
