it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
