I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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