Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
