Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
