were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
is that a dick in a sweater?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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