Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
please come you make the beer taste better
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
love makes seman taste better
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
