Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
40s are totally the cure
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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