omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
