He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
