The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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