How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize