Swine flu. Run for my life!
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
