Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
