I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Just invented taco cereal.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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