I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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