No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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