I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
whose parrot is this?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
