According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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