Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
