I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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