I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Randomize
