so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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