Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
