Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.Â
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
