remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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