I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
