i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
