we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
