OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
