Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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