if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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