that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
is wine microwaveable?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Randomize
