this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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