I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
