My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
