weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
