Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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