maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
