I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
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