i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
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