her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Randomize
