she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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