ugly people sure do ruin things
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
