It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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