What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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