dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
