Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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