It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
my sisters under your porch take her home
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Randomize
