Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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