you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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